I would be remiss if I didn’t briefly address The Bachelor. I thought about writing a whole post on it, but I’d imagine there’s enough floating around. All that I’d like to comment on is the fact that we are all random humans who do not have any legitimate personal stake in this man’s love life. Was his decision to propose when he still had doubts misguided? Yeah, but he is also a person, and the last time I checked, all people make mistakes. Again– super unfortunate situation, but I don’t think we’re in any place to condemn him.
What do I think about the fact that the break up was aired on national television? Was it ethical? I think that’s a grey area. These people signed up to be on this TV show. They signed up to date publicly. Uh, they only aired 24 other women being dumped throughout the season, why should their hurt be more public than Becca’s? Because she was engaged to him? Guys. By the time Arie broke off his engagement, the pair had known each other, maybe, three months. It’s another risk of the show. If you want to argue that it was wrong to film the break up, you’d also be arguing that the whole premise of the show is equally wrong and disturbing. Which is fine—just understand what you’re saying.
So what that he realized that the relationship wouldn’t work– how many of these engagements have lasted? We’ve got to chill out. This guy was just trying his best to make all the “right” choices in front of millions of people. In the end, he couldn’t ignore his gut feeling, and owned up to the fact that he messed up. I think it’s commendable that he realized he needed to honor his feelings despite the animosity that would inevitably come his way. It cannot be easy to end an engagement, but go you if you’re brave enough to do it when you know you need to. People suck, and they judge. I’m sure it’s embarrassing. Our society’s response to this is exactly why people go through with marriages just to avoid the shame of admitting they were wrong.
Let’s take a deep breath and cut the guy some slack (can’t believe I said that).
Speaking of, since the last time I publicly shared my own dating adventures– there have been about three dudes. I enjoyed my time with all of them. Each of them has also ghosted me. If you’re of a generation that did your twenties without technology, ghosting is when someone makes themselves disappear in order to avoid owning up to the fact that they’re not into you. Ghosting comes in many shapes and sizes. Sometimes you get unfriended on all the social medias, sometimes they block you (this is usually reserved for more serious situations), but usually they just stop texting you like you are no longer a breathing being. Hence, ghost.
Personally, I’m pretty anti-ghosting. I think it’s a tad cowardly and not cool. However, I admit that I have, in-fact, ghosted people. Usually I save my ghosting for only those men whom I have not actually met. These would be the people I match with on a dating app, chat with, and am not feeling. For the record, to any man who thinks that I did not take your ghosting me well, know that three people, who I ghosted, text me once or twice every single day. These guys have been at it for at least two weeks. In fact, any guy who I’ve ghosted seems to take it as an invitation to earn my attention. Man, it is so messed up that most people only want to pursue me when I’m not into them. Quite literally all of the men who I’ve met on this dating adventure, and enjoy, would rather I outwardly enjoy them less. I shoot you fools one or two texts after I’ve figured out that I’m not going to hear from you again, and then I let you be dead. So, can we be done with the perception that I’m clingy? Check yourselves, ya’ll.
Phew. Feel like I’m on a rant roll right now. In other news:
Yesterday I created an Instagram poll. I realize that most of you come here from Facebook, so my apologies that I didn’t include you. My question was about which topics that you most enjoy reading on this blog. I heard from about 20% of everyone who reads this. That percentage let me know that stories from my past are low on your totem pole, while relationships, mental health, and astrology get you excited to read. If you feel like you were excluded and want me to know what your favorite topics are, leave a comment, shoot me an email, message me on something, you have all the options.
Another option that I’m not sure you know about is your ability to share these posts. You see at the bottom of these paragraphs that there is the word “share” along with four icons? It looks like this: You just have to decide which media you’d like to share on, and press the button. It’s super easy, and I would so appreciate your help in spreading my thoughts and words to people who might need or enjoy them. Go ahead and take a second to peruse my past posts, and share one that resonates with you. Or, like, don’t, but keep it in mind, maybe?
Many thanks to all of you for your support and time. I never anticipated so much interest in my brain and creativity. It’s pretty neat, and I’m enormously grateful.
Talk to you Friday.