Vacation: it’s one of my favorite pastimes (duh, it’s probably everyone’s). I’ve been away for five days in Florida getting a theme park fix and spending a little time with the ocean. If you know me personally, you’re surely aware that akin to my obsession with Coldplay is my affinity for Disney World.
My last trip to Disney was for Thanksgiving of 2016. This was in the heat of my break-up, a tumultuous work environment, untreated depression, and PTSD. I spent a good amount of that trip crying because the happiest place on Earth did nothing for my mental health. I couldn’t feel anything other than disappointment, hurt, fear, and the trip was one I would like to forget. I realize in saying that, I sound entitled and ungrateful– which leaves me feeling ashamed. But, you have to understand that for someone who feels as deeply as me, I could write an infinite amount of posts on the joy that I feel in the first rows of a Coldplay concert or in Disney World. They’re my things– part of who I am. Being numb to that joy when I knew that I should be feeling it was devastating (guys, that’s a huge indicator of depression. If you’re struggling with apathy, it might be time to talk to your doctor about it).
Anyway– this was my first time back in DW, and I’m happy to report that all of my synapses fired as expected. I had an incredible trip to my happy place and feel so grateful for it. Yeah, the crowd in the parks after 1pm is still a torturous test of will, but when the trip is short, you’ve got to make the most of your time. Speaking of making the most of your time, here’s a list of post topics to come that you can get pumped for:
-How to enjoy Disney World with small children
-Naples and the unexpected feelings it prompted
-Dating update
-Look at the Stars Pt. 3
-A look back on my month abroad
-“Black Mirror”
All of these topics and their respective words are bursting through my proverbial brain seams. I’ll try my best to spread the thoughts out… we’ll see how that goes. In the meantime, I have a favor to ask of some of my male-readers. More specifically, those of you who have ever been romantically involved with me (if your name starts with an “A” you’re exempt from this exercise). I know ya’ll are reading this, heck I’d read about the secrets of your life if you wrote them, it’s dramatic and entertaining– no shame. Whether you’re confident that I reciprocated the romantic nature of our relationship, or not, or know I felt that way but you didn’t, or we were on the same page, this applies to all of you. What I need is this:
My next post on dating is going to take a very analytical look at how my words, behavior, and shared thoughts are perceived. You know, kind of what I’ve been doing, but this time replacing my speculation with your feedback. I want to know what attracted you to me and why we weren’t compatible. Yes, I’m seriously asking that question, and I, seriously, need your answers. Let me know in a comment, text, email, or through whatever method you prefer. I won’t judge, and you won’t hurt my feelings– just interested in the research, okay? We’ll see how this goes.
Wishing you all a very happy Monday and a good week ahead,
-M
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